It feels next to impossible to ask for help when your mind is completely numb with depression or filled with suicidal ideation. Having gone through multiple bouts of major depressive episodes where suicide felt like the only answer, I have learned how hard it is to ask for help and how much small tools, like a numbered scale, can help.
My therapist and I worked together to set up a scale from 0 – 10 for me to share with close family and friends to help me with harm reduction.
How it works
Instead of asking “How are you” my support system can ask me what number I’m at. This way we don’t have to deal with the grey area of what “Im Ok” means.
This scale is accessible through google docs to my support system. I also have it printed off for my husband and in-laws as they live close by.
I have two people who are the contacts to be reached out to if I’m on the higher end of the scale – my husband Josh and mother in law Cheryl.
0 is the least intensity of my mental illness and 10 is the highest. Under each number I have provided steps of how to treat me, support me and steps to take.
So here is my scale provided to my support system:
| Crisis Scale |
| 0: Having a great day – Wahooo! A good day 🙂 |
| 1 – 2: is coping well and feeling some positivity – It’s me! Treat as normal |
| 3 – 4: Having a rough time but you coping okay – Offer up your time if you have some such as a phone call, walk, hanging out |
| 5 – 6: Needing support to prevent from going further down the path – Encourage me to go for a walk or do a craft – Encourage me to meditate and journal – Have I taken on too much? If we’ve made plans maybe we will need to cancel – Ask me if I need help with anything such as meal planning, organizing things, finishing a project I’ve been working on |
| 7 – 8: Really struggling and spiraling – Encourage me to speak with Josh and my therapist – Josh/family – ensure I eat an actual meal, make something for me/drop something off that can be heated up – Check in on me when I have alone time, I should be okay to walk alone at this time or walk with no conversation. – Not recommended to drive alone. – Reminder – I will likely not respond in this and the above phase to calls or messages, or if I do, it may be short. Don’t be offended, I could likely use help just don’t know what to do. – Contact Josh/Cheryl if you’re worried |
| 9 – 10: Planning or ready for self harm – Stay with me but provide some space. This could be sitting on the couch, watching a show or movie, I likely won’t want to talk or debrief at this time – If I’ve shared what I’m anxious about or a plan for suicide, no matter what it is, try to stay calm and ask me to take a few breaths with you – I might not want to be touched – If we aren’t physically together and I have messaged you, contact Josh and/or Cheryl immediately – Remove razors from shower and put away knives – Take medication away to remove chance of overdose – If I take a shower, stay close – Take me to the hospital if you don’t feel safe leaving me alone – Reminder, do not let me go on a walk or drive alone |
Overall this has helped me on many occasions. If you’d like to try it, customize it to you! It is great to add within a crisis plan or on its own.
If you are struggling with suicidal ideation, please know you’re not alone and reach out for help.
Call: Crisis Services Hotline available 24/7: 1-844-437-3247 OR 911
Text: 45645, 4 PM – 12 AM ET
Go to the hospital nearest you
You deserve to live
<3 Meg
